”I could pull the steering wheel” 


All my life I’ve had these little suicidal thoughts. Never enough to go through with it but it’s always at the back of my mind. I’ll just be driving down the road and it will pop up in my head that I could let go of the wheel and I’d swerve off the road into the ditch. It’s mostly thoughts while I’m driving. I think that way people won’t know I did it on purpose. I always thought these things were normal. It’s possible lots of people have these thoughts on a regular basis as well but that doesn’t make it normal. It’s definitely not normal. My life isn’t even terrible. I’ve had tough shit happen but I’ve made it through everything so far. Why would I want to take the easy way out? 

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4 thoughts on “”I could pull the steering wheel” 

  1. Hi! My name is Candice I think what’s happening here is not you “wanting” to take the easy way out, possibly just the thought of how easy it is. If you think about it, we all have so much power, the power to change things all together, the power to love and hate, and the power to end things. With all of this power there’s no doubt that thoughts of just ending your life will come to your mind. I think of the ways I could die at times. I wouldn’t think much of it since you don’t have a terrible life, enjoy your life 🙂 but if you ever need anything, to talk or whatever don’t be afraid to ask me 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I can relate. I’ve had genuine suicidal ideation–the lowest point in my life–but I also have some OCD traits which cause me to have intrusive thoughts. I’ve had a lot of intrusive thoughts while driving just like the one you’re describing–how easy it would be to go over the side of the bridge, and so on. Do you feel like what you’re experiencing is true suicidal ideation, or could they possibly be just stupid, anxious thoughts?

    Liked by 1 person

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