I had no autonomy with you. Even when I asked you to stop smacking my ass. It was “no, its mine.” So you do what you want with me leaving me no say. You use to initiate something sexual and if I didn’t want to it turned into this huge argument. That or I got cold shoulder for the rest of the night for not “pleasing my man.” If I forgot to tell you I love you or didn’t call you by the right name. I was made to feel bad about these things. So I started doing and saying things just to keep you happy and stop the arguments from happening. That’s not right. That’s not a relationship. It makes me sick to my stomach to think I just let that happen. I stayed in that unhealthy mess. I lost so much of myself. For that I will never be able to forgive myself.