Can role models be positive & negative?

What is a role model to you?
Growing up you consider a role model to be someone you look up to in a positive aspect. The person you look up to usually has accomplished or is accomplishing similar goals that you want too. When you’re younger it’s artists and actors that you want to be like then as you grow up it’s more specified to what you’re interested in as a career or hobby. Maybe you look up to someone for their positivity, faithfulness, hope, or perseverance. You can look up to someone for many incredible reasons big or small.
Can a negative role model be positive?
However we don’t talk much about how bad examples can be a positive role model as to the person you refuse to become. I went and spent some time with my sister in law and nephew today. We got to talking about how my dearest brother who has ideas of what he doesn’t want to be as a father. These came from our father figures growing up. Between his father and mine we didn’t get much positive reinforcement or positive reasons to look up to them as role models. It’s so unfortunate that he doesn’t have a role model of who he would like to be like as a father only bad examples bringing him to the conclusion of what he refuses to become. This can also be taken different ways. People may take these lessons and do the same as their father once did or learn from their father’s mistakes and pave their own pathways through life.
Do you have a person you look up to that is a guideline of who you don’t want to be?
Do you have a positive role model?
♥

“There are friendships imprinted in our hearts that will never be diminished by time and distance.”

So my best friend moved to Vernon just a couple months ago. It’s not like we saw each other often enough when she lived here but, it’s been hard not having her within a short drive at any given moment. Weirdly there is some pro’s to her being gone. Our friendship has changed immensely and we’re texting more often plus sending each other videos of our days. It’s been a step in our friendship that wasn’t intended. Planning trips and fun things to do when we see each other again. We’re even planning matching tattoos. Thank you, Alison! For always being my biggest support through all the good and bad ideas.
♥

Relationship lesson’s

1. My first real relationship, Alex. I wish I could think of a single thing that this relationship taught me but nothing comes to mind. I was about 15 he was 19. It was purely cause our best friends were together. You were always pouting and making me feel guilty whenever I spent time with my bestfriend instead of you. I wish I didn’t waste my time when it could’ve been spent with her. That’s a lie. This relationship taught me not to settle and not to put up with shit.
2. My first love, Jordan. This relationship taught me so much. More importantly though was what I learned from our break up. This was the hardest break up I had to endure. I thought that I loved you so damn much. That nothing would ever compare. I was wrong.
3. My toxic relationship, Anthony. It was only toxic because we were two people that couldn’t get along for very long. It was a lot of fun when we weren’t yelling. You taught me to love myself. In this I mean love my body and appreciate my curves. You taught me how to feel sexy.These relationship have lead me to be the woman I am today. Lead me to have patience but also stand up for myself. Taught me to love myself and feel sexy and confident in who I am. It has taught me how to love the man I do today.
4. The rest of my life, Brandon. This is the man I want to marry. The man I want to beat the odds with. You and me vs. the world. The man I can communicate with. The one I can trust and truly be myself with. “The one”. The one who backs me up no matter.

One Reason

Dear Mom,

This letter includes the some reasons behind my decision not to have children. It all starts with a whole lot of self love. I have spent years trying to build up my self love and self confidence. I am aware and willing that it is many more years in the making. Will I ever officially 100% love myself head to toe? I couldn’t tell you. This is the biggest reason I do not want children, especially a daughter of my own. My childhood consisted of not being taught healthy eating lifestyles. Then when it came to dealing with weight problems it all consisted of diet fads that never lasted long. You would always try to get me to tag along with you on your newest diet fad. Dr. Atkins, Weight Watchers, Nutrifast and so many more. I wanted to be taught what was good for my body and what wasn’t. This never happened and I still struggle with learning this at the age of twenty four. To this day you still try to tag me into your new diet fad (Keto) when I am just learning to feed my body what will make it healthy and happy. I wish that my mother just taught me to love myself not change myself in all the worst ways. As much as I blame you I also know you were only taught the same thing from your mother and your mother from hers and so on and so on. I don’t want to teach children that I have grown inside me not to love themselves for every last flaw they have. I believe so strongly if you love yourself you will do what your body needs to survive, to thrive. There is always room to splurge and enjoy but to regularly feed good, feel good, be good. It’s a lifestyle not a diet fad. I don’t want to teach my children anything other than love. I don’t feel as if I will be ready for this even in the next ten years….if ever!
♥

Ready for change

It’s been a tough few months. I’ve been working my ass off and not sleeping all that much or well for that matter. I wish I could push through this but this position is not what I’ve worked for over the past two years with this company. It’s just a stepping stone on the way to my next destination. Good news is there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The end is almost near. Whether that means a new position is ready for me somewhere or I have to float for a short while. I am just fine with either at this moment. I just want some proper rest. I miss being able to focus on customer service all the time. On the other hand I will miss putting the store back into shape. This doesn’t mean I will stop doing so it just means it wont be my main focus anymore. It will be in someone else’s hands from then on. Although this position has taken pretty much all of the energy out of me I have enjoyed it. I’ve worked with fantastic people, accomplished many things and got to learn things from a whole new perspective. Just ready for some honest to good change.
♥

 

 

Couple’s that do stuff together stay together

Couple’s that do stuff together stay together.

When I say that I don’t mean the generic romantic stuff like picnics on the beach, concerts in the park or walks through the museum. I honestly believe part of what keeps our relationship so strong is that we do every day life stuff together. I prep the veggies while he preps the meat. I do the dishes as he’s making dinner. We take out the garbage and recycling together. We even shower together majority of the time. These things make me feel closer to him in more than one way. The bonus of doing all these things together is that no one is feeling like they’re the only one doing absolutely everything around the house. We make dinner. We clean up. We shower. Then we relax and watch our shows together. He sits through mine and I sit through his. Don’t tell him I’ve been enjoying his show though. That’s a secret. I have never had a relationship as incredible as this one is and I can truthfully say this is one of the many reasons why. Previously it was all always me doing everything. I also got pretty lucky this time to find a guy so thoughtful and caring. He thinks of everything. Buys me that bottle of wine. Puts my favorite blanket on me when he wakes up too early on the weekend. I am a lucky woman. That’s for sure.
♥

Life’s what you make it, so let’s make it right!

14 days of love letters [Day one]

When did you first know they were the one for you? How?

The first thing he said to me was “The only Kershaw I know is a country singer.” Which as silly as it sounds made me think he was the one even before we met in person. My parents named me after a country singer they both loved. To this day the only people who ever know who Sammy Kershaw is are older people. So, needless to say I was shocked he had any clue who Sammy was. It’s always been a very important story in my life and had me very excited to meet someone who not only knew but appreciate country music as I do.

I honestly felt like I knew he was the one for me extremely soon into our relationship. It just was so easy to talk to him and discuss things instead of arguing. I have always been able to talk about problems when they arise and it’s very important that my partner can too. We made a great team straight from the get go. Another big thing was all the little things he did for me and still does to this day almost two years later. You never want to stop showing your significant other you care and think about them.

I am one lucky gal
♥

Drunken birthday thoughts

Every once in a while I crave my old apartment. I crave late night baths with terribly sad music blasted. I crave a small toke of weed. I crave sitting at my desk by the window writing down on paper all of my sad, sad feelings. I only crave it because it was safe, comfortable. This happiness scares the shit out of me. It doesn’t feel safe. I keep just waiting for something bad to happen one way or another. I keep waiting for it all to break down slowly or all at once. This honestly happens the most when I’m days away from getting my period. That’s when I get bad, so bad. I just want to curl up in the corner and feel sorry for myself. Thank god the me today doesn’t allow that. She gets me right up and starts by making the house clean and organized. I push myself out that door into the real world. I force myself away from that pain. I never want to be in that place again. Things fell into place not long after they fell apart. It took some learning some life lessons for it to fall in my lap… but thank god it happened.